If U Foxtrot

Have you heard the new Britney Spears song? The Boyfriend pointed it out to me. If U Seek Amy is the ohhh so cleaver (wry smile and rolling my eyes as I say that) creative spelling of that harsh four letter word. Say it again fast…If U Seek Amy.

Could she have cried out for attention any louder? Maybe 5 years ago “all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to…” but not now, not with her crazy antics and loss of status as jail bait. And please, that’s as original as you could get? That’s the best you’ve got to offer? That’s what you want to put your name and brand behind? That’s what you want your kids to hear? You can’t just allude like everyone else, you have to spell it out? How desperate are you!?!?!

But you know what’s funny about my indignation and disgust over this song?

The Bloodhound Gang did a song in 2005 called Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo which was chock full of euphemisms for the deed. (Did you get what the acronym is?) It’s hilarious!!! I know all the words and would not be offended if a 10 year old were to sing the lyrics. While it appeals to the lowest common denominator it is amusing. I guess the big difference is that Foxtrot acknowledges that it’s a joke and doesn’t try to hide what they’re saying. They say it and they laugh.

Britney just went way too far beyond the tasteful line while pretending she didn’t even see it there. Please!

And you know what drives me the most crazy? This is exactly what she is looking for!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! Pulling out my hair and calling it a day!

When did I learn to knit?

When did I learn to knit? This is a frequently asked question that I haven’t the foggiest idea how to answer. It seems I’ve always known how to knit. I can remember when I was 8 or 9 my grandparents were visiting and Memere taught me how to crochet a chain. I made chains like you wouldn’t believe, marveling how the kitchen cotton colors varied as I worked the yarn. I don’t remember either my mother or grandmother teaching me. Perhaps I absorbed it from watching them. But then again neither one of them knit very much.
.

Mum did machine knitting for a couple years around when I was 9 or 10. I can hear the whirl of the carriage traveling across the bed of needles and I remember there always seemed to pieces of sweaters with long threads hanging off them laying about the house. I has a brand name child and adamant that I would not be caught wearing something handmade. So sadly, she made nearly everyone in the family sweaters, everyone but me.
.

The next point in my life where knitting played a part was when we moved my sophomore year in high school to a new town. I think Mum wanted to find something to occupy my time since I didn’t make friends very quickly. I recall shopping for the Lopi to make felted clogs, and those giant wooden needles but I still have no recollection of being taught to knit. I do remember Mum always had to cast on for me since my 14 year old self thought it was a useless skill. It wasn’t like you needed to cast-on again while knitting that one item. Silly! After felting it was a cream-yellow cotton shopping bag with a long handle and lace pattern in the body of the bag. With my limited skills and lack of experience I remember the frustration of loosing my place and upon finishing realizing that the garter stitch base square didn’t line up with the handles, it was more of a diamond. I didn’t knit for a while.

.
My junior year I picked up the needles again and began to knit two garter stitch striped double bed sized blankets with acrylic bouclé yarn from Walmart. I thought they were the most amazing thing. I would knit on those while freezing I mean working at the museum. Lots of eldery women commented on my work and I recall the hassle of flipping the giant project over for each row. I believe this was the first time I used circular needles.

.
My senior year I recall sitting in my parents bedroom/sitting room (more like a second living room) with a certain young man feeding my knitting addiction. I convinced him that it would be fun to read my homework to me while I knit (this was back before audiobooks were as prevalent as they are today). The Boyfriend and I completed several books that way, Huck Fin, Giovanni’s Gift, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, to name a few. I definitely knit those books into my stitches because I remember little else I read that year. I think my mother still has one of these super heavy blankets I knit during that time, but the bag has long since disappeared. I have a pair of the slippers in my garage, teal and blue with thread bear soles. I could never bring myself to throw them away.

Through college there was no knitting. I attempted some quilting but aside from a half finished blanket at my parent’s house there isn’t anything to show for that. After graduation I ended up working in a design department for a men’s clothing company. Even though I was a temp I felt like a major contributor and made major decisions about fabrics, fits, and design details for the clothing line. After working on the first season of sweaters I had an overwhelming desire to create something one of a kind, rather than the mass produced items I was developing. One Friday after work I got yarn at the LYS to make a sweater and a basic knitting book. I rushed home and began a knitting career. We quickly started a knitting group at work and I taught lots of the girls how to knit. I made a tweed top-down raglan sweater with grey tweed yarn. The entire garment is bias (I knit in the back of each stitch in the round) and the sleeves are entirely too short. But I still make a point of wearing that sweater at least once every year.

So there you have it. That’s when I learned to knit. Usually I say I’ve been knitting for five years, since the start of the career with the grey sweater, but really knitting was a part of my life long before that. Have I been knitting since I was 14, when I first followed a pattern? I don’t feel like that’s accurate either since I know I knew how to knit before that.
The Boyfriend laughed when I informed him a couple years ago that knitting was part of my soul and I was certain I had been a knitter in a previous life. I think I blew all my credit with the previous life arguments the day I told him I had obviously been a cat before. That was the only way to explain my affinity for warm sunny rooms and love for all cats, I could do without dogs but never without cats. The Puckish side of me whats to answer the “how long have you been knitting” question by simply saying LIFETIMES, because that is how it feels to me.

Knitting to the Music of Life

Another weekend, another trip to Webs.
We went, we saw, we shopped.
Welcome to Mecca take 2
Whatever I call it, it was another fun filled trip to the yarn capital of New England.

We all piled into Title Pam’s van and hit the road early on Friday. Vans are loud. Did you realize this? We did not. In fact I think it surprised us all how limited the conversation was. Talk to the person next to you or ride in silence since music didn’t seem to be an option. The rain did not make for easy driving and we were all thankful for Pam’s quiet determination to get us to our destination. I did a little knitting on the 3rd pair of Mittens in May.

Upon arrival we did the roommate assignment. The kid in me had been thinking of this a grand adventure including a slumber party. If only we didn’t have to split up into separate rooms. We hit the mall and had a late dinner. Then back to the room for some refreshments and knitting. The atmosphere was not what I had expected. Instead of bonding and giggling we talked and were somewhat subdued. I am not complaining, merely stating the obvious…Miss Obvious here…”it’s hot in here!”

No seriously, it surprised me. The sociologist in me wonders why things did not go as I planned. I know we were all anxious and looking forward to the trip. I know that each of these women has a great personality and I would enjoy an evening with any one of them. But somehow, in a large group, after riding for 3 hours we were less than animated.

The only other group this large that I spend an extended period of time with is my maternal family. I have often seen an afternoon fall flat on its face as everyone gathers together with jubilation which crumbles piece by piece as each individual is forced to make compromises for “the group” sake and their personal preferences are overridden by the social pressure to comply or be left out. And as we are all fairly new friends (having known each other for fewer than 9 months and in some cases less than 2) I think we were all feeling the pressure. Based on family experience I find it’s best if we all have a clear expectation of what’s going to happen and do not deviate too far. That way we’re all prepared to make the necessary concessions and do not feel the disappointment when others do not wish to follow the same game plan we are. But enough scholarly analyzing, let’s talk yarn.

Breakfast was a quick event and then we made our way to Webs via Starbucks, a much appreciated detour on my part.

I’m filled with warmth as I recall the hours spent wondering through the isles of wool, alpaca, wool, cotton, alpaca, and more alpaca. I found a great joy in shopping with my companions as opposed to running off on my own as I typically do since I have very specific interests (alpaca) and limited time (about 3 hours). Heather and I discussed Malibrigo, always a favorite. Pam and I discovered a lovely yarn, Buckingham Baby Alpaca, and that we could easily share some Araucania Limari. I laughed as Kara gorged on sweater yarn (reassuring us that she wouldn’t have to buy yarn again for years), much the same as many of us had on our February trip. And best of all…the highlight of the day…I got to spend someone else’s money on yarn! Who knew this could be so much fun. Lisa and I searched high and low for the perfect content and colored yarns for her next two sweaters. I know I will enjoy watching their creation as if I were knitting them. I helped develop them and would not have made different selections had I been knitting for myself.

On the ride home I took the reins, and everyone’s Ipods. Knowing that we had another 3 hours with limited conversation and quiet a few of us were running on less than ideal quantities of sleep, I decided it would be best if I acted as DJ. I didn’t want Pam to be left driving a van full of sleeping people. Imposing my will and not allowing for any type of compromise may have been irritating to some but I pleased the driver which was my way of thanking her for leading us on our grand adventure. Because in the end it’s about enjoying yourself and knitting to the music of life.

Things I learned from this trip.

• Have clearly laid plans that everyone is aware of prior to departure


• Choose transportation that encourages inclusion not isolation


• Relax and have fun, do not worry too much about other’s happiness.