If U Foxtrot

Have you heard the new Britney Spears song? The Boyfriend pointed it out to me. If U Seek Amy is the ohhh so cleaver (wry smile and rolling my eyes as I say that) creative spelling of that harsh four letter word. Say it again fast…If U Seek Amy.

Could she have cried out for attention any louder? Maybe 5 years ago “all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to…” but not now, not with her crazy antics and loss of status as jail bait. And please, that’s as original as you could get? That’s the best you’ve got to offer? That’s what you want to put your name and brand behind? That’s what you want your kids to hear? You can’t just allude like everyone else, you have to spell it out? How desperate are you!?!?!

But you know what’s funny about my indignation and disgust over this song?

The Bloodhound Gang did a song in 2005 called Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo which was chock full of euphemisms for the deed. (Did you get what the acronym is?) It’s hilarious!!! I know all the words and would not be offended if a 10 year old were to sing the lyrics. While it appeals to the lowest common denominator it is amusing. I guess the big difference is that Foxtrot acknowledges that it’s a joke and doesn’t try to hide what they’re saying. They say it and they laugh.

Britney just went way too far beyond the tasteful line while pretending she didn’t even see it there. Please!

And you know what drives me the most crazy? This is exactly what she is looking for!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! Pulling out my hair and calling it a day!

'Cause only k-nitwits like to k-nit

The other day my Mum sent me the lyrics to the Fraggle Rock Doozer Knitting Song...I thought you'd like to hear the song too.

What's your word

Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people. Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love. You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love. And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

What's Your Word?

Have you ever tried to knit while slightly intoxicated?

It’s both entertaining and frustrating.

First you pick up the sticks, and find that the needles you’ve spent hundreds of hours holding, that normally feel perfect in your hands, now feel somewhat awkward, like you’ve never held them before. Like you’re five holding a pencil for the first time trying to hold on and write you’re full name.

Next you attempt to knit a stitch, and then another and in the time it would normally take you to knit 3 stitches you’ve somewhat successfully completed one. That’s odd you think, I’m normally much faster. I must be tired, or something, you think dismissively to yourself.

And it’s at this point, around stitch 6 when you realize that knitting is really really hard. All those times in the past when you thought it was a mindless pastime that soothed your nerves. Well you were way wrong! And you can hardly believe it!

Because at this moment, you’ve come to the electrifyingly obvious conclusion that knitting is really hard! Hard is the best word you can think of. SO much motor coordination and concentration just to get one stitch. Wow, those knitters must be geniuses. And then you realize that you’re daydreaming about how difficult knitting is instead of actually knitting….hahahahahaha

Get to Know your Samurai

The new 2009 edition of getting to know your family andfriends.

1. What is your occupation right now? Yarn Duchess
2. What color are your socks right now? Teal/Navy/Grey strippes, yes I knit them!
3. What are you listening to right now? Dyeing 2 Knit Podcast
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Tomato, Cheese, Orange Pepper Pizza...yum!
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Unfortunately no
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? The Boyfriend
7. How old are you today? 28...and some days
8. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Baseball I guess, at least I'll sit through half of a game and I know what's going on.
9. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke & O
10. Have you died your hair? Once when I was in high school..oh and random highlights a few years back.
11. Favorite food? Pizza
12. What is the last movie you watched? Appalousa, which was meh
13. Favorite day of the year? Any day spent knitting with sunshine or snow
14. How do you vent anger?throw a tantrum...cry...and wear myself out
15. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbie Doll
16. What is your favorite season? Fall, the leaves are beautiful and the temperature if perfect for sweaters
17. Cherries or Blueberries? Neither, I'll take Strawberries
18. Living arrangements? Husband, and two cats
19. When was the last time you cried? This weekend...when I got angry
20. What is on the floor of your closet? Plastic bins with holiday decorations and dirty clothes
21. What did you do last night? Watched CSI for hours while I knit
22. What are you most afraid of? The Dark
23. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? No hamburgers for this vegetarian
24. Favorite dog breed? Devon Rex... :-)
25. Favorite day of the week? Thursday, day before the best day of the week. So much potiential ahead.
26. Favorite flower? Iris

I'm being discriminated against!

I just had a sudden and strong feeling of discrimination. It’s not fair at all that the skinny, short, tiny footed knitters of the world are so small. They get to finish items much faster than us larger girls. I even have a big head! I can’t catch a break.

At least The Boyfriend has reasonable sized feet, 11s. I’m torn about knitting him a pair of socks. I’m sure he’ll take care of them but after listening to me grouse about how much work sock knitting is, he’ll probably cherish them too much to wear them. Also, knitting socks for other people means working with colors that don’t necessarily spark my interest. I can’t knit every one bright teal socks, as much as I’d like to. I’m leaning towards simple stripes. That’ll serve multiple purposes…it’ll keep my interest as I watch the colors change, and mislead the recipient into thinking stripes are difficult and it’s an amazing piece of knitting, even if I do something simple. I need to Jaywalkers…but oh!

I’ve been working two pairs of socks using Cat Borhdi’s Riverbed construction. I’m NEVER GOING BACK TO A SHORT ROW HEEL AGAIN!! Using Cat’s construction I can get a toe-up heel flap! What more is there in life?

Oh and for those who are interested…Callie is a Devon Rex 4 month old kitten.

Clumsy!

Wanna see something totally gross and disgusting?

Today I took a giant chunk out of my thumb. It bled for way too long and stopped me from doing all of my normal activities, knitting and typing.

We’re talking a massive hunk! ½” long by 1/4” wide at the widest point. Stop laughing! That’s gianormous! Espcially for a knitter. It’s right at the point where I pivot the right hand needle.

Why does this happen to me!!! Seriously, first it was the attack scissors on my index finger, and now this!!! Perhaps I’m a bit clumsy.

Oh and this is not a giant thumb gouge picture. Instead it’s a picture of me from another particularly clumsy period. When I was 9 and broke my arm riding my bike. We still went to Florida that year, cast and all. To this day my father laughs about my attempt to go swimming with a cast on (hahaha cast on!). Reflexes were stronger than will power at that age and within a few minutes I had a soaking wet cast as I had really tried to swim.

I'm Linus!

You're Linus!

You may lack some courage outside your comfort zone but with a little security you can accomplish anything. Your smart, intelligent, and care about your friends. Keep up your strong faith because its a part of you that is unique.

Funny, I thought the small yellow fuzzy thing with four legs was Linus.

Take the Quiz you're self.

You've Been Tagged

Amy over at What Did She Do Today tagged me. So you'll have to suffer through some strange and random factoids about me.

1. I watch at least 10 minutes of the cartoon Futurama every day. Usually it’s while I’m in bed doing Sudoku before I fall asleep. The Boyfriend started this tradition in college when Adult Swim was around. Now we have the box sets and recite most episodes. At first I blamed him for watching it so much, but now even if he’s not home, I still watch my Futurama.

2. Sometimes I drink directly out of the large juice or soda bottles in the fridge. Strange, this is a habit I picked up in college when I had to hand wash dishes. I no longer have to hand wash and I find the thought of other people doing this disgusting. Really I should stop.

3. I am empathic. I can usually pick up on the emotional vibes of other people, strangers even. This is both a blessing and a curse. Its wonderful when I’m with a group of happy people, it makes me light up and feel euphoric, but if I’m with someone who’s feeling down, it can pull me down with them.

4. Pizza is my favorite food. I don’t just like pizza, I could eat nothing but pizza for days and be content as long as it had different toppings. The Boyfriend is also a major pizza fan and once we considered holding a competition to see who could go longer eating only pizza. We could not agree on the rules, if it had to be just one brand of pizza, or one toping. To this day it is still debated who is the bigger pizza fan. On our honeymoon the cruise ship had 24 hour pizza…can you see our smiling faces?

5. In college I had a different roommate every semester for three semesters, then I had a single. My first roommate my freshman year was awesome but she ate my food and rather than telling her to stop I moved out. The second and third roommates were the ultra-nerdy kind and I didn’t have anything in common with them. The next year I informed The Boyfriend that he was the only roommate I could stand. We’ve lived together ever since (7½ years).

6. I despise talking on the phone. See strange fact number three. On the phone I can only rely on the vocal cues which isn’t something I do very well since I rely heavily on the emotional ones. I feel awkward and off balance and typically try to get off the phone as quickly as possible unless it’s my Mum. I know her so well I don’t need any cues.

7. When I was little, like 3, I was in a dance recital and my little pointed hat fell off. I blame this for my fear of public speaking.
(I don't have the photo of the stage preformance, but I do have this one of Mum and I from a year earlier).

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Now Brox Girl Knits, Cusegirl, Kookaberra, Katie of the Cables, Lucy, WickedPyssa, and All Tangled Up it's your turns!

I Could Be First Lady

Tonight at our Cast Off knitting group, amongst talk of the political candidates and how difficult it must be to be the significant other of the president the following side bar ensued.

Steph: “I could be the wife of a president. I’d make a great first lady, knitting all the time. Saying ‘I don’t really have an opinion on that whenever a dicey topic came up in interviews’ Steve would be off running the world coming home late at night to see me happily knitting away. I’d pop up from a pile of yarn and say ‘you’ve been busy at work but see what I’ve done today’ with a glowing smile. And Steve would lovingly pat me on the head and say ‘that’s nice dear’.

Kara: “I can see it now, they’d come to interview Steph and ask her opinion on current events , and she’d say “I don’t really know about that, but look at my stash” with a wave of her hand proudly showing the many skeins of yarn that surround her. And then she’d say “Oh and see this lovely skein of angora it came from the President of Turkey, and this one over here, it came from the Prime Minster of Australia, oh and this alpaca came from the President of Peru .” And then Steph would say, “What’s that, President Steve, you want to help developing countries, well I think yarn mills are an excellent solution to their economic problems.”

Daphne: “Stephanie would say “Iraq, forget about Iraq, there’s no yarn in Iraq. Get out of there. I love this Peruvian yarn, can we go back there for another summit?”

At this point we were howling with laughter at how dead on this impersonation of Steve and my relationship is. I closed with “See I told you I’d make a great First Lady.”